just another tear on my pillow

he's just another tear on my pillow

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 22:59:13 GMT

I walk by him every day trying to forget the painess it causes me..I try to ignore him hes a jerk and I normaly hate those type of people but theirs somthing about him I just can't put my finger on and say oh hes so sweet when he's not being a jerk.I think he likes me too but why should I care hes just going to be another tear on my pillow...Tears That keep on coming.I can't stop thinking about him he's the boy I've always wanted to meat.He's not A bullie hes qwuite sweet and I have to relise that hes just a little scratch on my heart nothing more.But before I met him my life was fallin my heart was broken and just by his smile It all pulled back together.Besides I'm ugly I'm pathtic and I'm nothing like those other girls I'm one of those girls that sit their in their room writing in her diary spreading her thoughts who looks for a guy who calls me beutiful and can say to his friends thats her...Thats my amy.Not hot or chick.But he is falling for this girl who doesnt care for him inside but for his looks and is popularity and looks for stuff that can make her look good who wares all that makeup.I wont hide myself for a boy not again...it would be dream if he would say hello amy how are you? simple...But i'm not his type some may say but hes all that i wanted. he mite not be that cute but who cares he can hold you and say to you you'r the best thing thats happend to me your beutiful not hold your hand and say want french fries want to kiss your a clut pull your act together. but when I see him and he together My heart falls back into pieces and my life seems just cramped into a box.But when he smiles I feel as if god gave me beuty.I wonder each day will me and him ever be together...Will he notice me will people make fun of me will they know I'm not like them.I'm not a barbie doll looking like every one.i'm amy I'm my self and nothing will change that not even him..

Sat, 14 Oct 2006 19:13:10 GMT

Its all my fault!!!I wish I never said anything or done anything but now its too late im scared and worried she's always my cosin even if she is up to no good im always their to back her up!!!Someone help me...

dear fire thats going out..

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 22:34:52 GMT

dear that fire thats going out,
Thanks for always being their for me and telling me right from from for telling me That I'm not even worthy of stuff that you can do..Well i agree your not like me I folow my own path I will always be their but please what happend to the path you were on..?You are off track closing the bridge wont help. but folow your heart were it truley is..
love you always..kitty

..

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 01:12:15 GMT

As my piture says im strumming to find a melody for too,
I am looking for someone that I can talk to and they can just sit their nodding agreaing and why wont he or she find me im tierd or searching for that someone.I"m never going to find that someone but i'm searching for someone that wont tell anyone any thing or blans it out in the hallway or begs to tell somone or say dont wory shes not going to tell.Some one who will say thats for me to know only its important its my friend.I just hope im that person for someone.Some one got her heart broken today by someone and cries when ever she sees him and her a practical joke turning into a river of maddnes. but me ive sank low into the ocean..I mite have been eaten by a shark already but i dont know for sure but then I"d notice that the water im drowing in...I'ts my tears.nothing can stop them from falling now.Worrie fills my heart ever day will he and she be alright will i pass will someone make fun of me will i make friends will he like me should i go is he ok is she going to be alright whats wrong with her did i say somthing? they reapet through my mind every time i walk in the hall ways...Were am i somthimes travles their too..

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 22:25:21 GMT

I feel aful like im about to throw up..Its because the dance...WEll thats what I Think its because...I've never thought I'd go to a dance before but I guess I should..,
but what if people laugh at the way I dance..or me be one of those geeks at the corner of the room sneezing into anti-sneeze tishous or somthing...my heart beats just thinking about it then i dont have a date..I know not alot of girls have dates but aint that normal?And what if a boy asks me to dance.Do I?Should I....Well I dout any one would like to danse with me im as ugly as a horses butt...And who would want to be near that?I'm just a old used tishou in the garbage as every one else is new and not smelly...Well thats what I feel noone to sit next to in math or somthing like that those classes.Having to run tomorow even churtles my stomock more...
Satarday and sunday were fun...I got to hang with my cosin liam hes as cute as a new born babby.he just turned 3 years old and hes exsited hes got big boy under ware *laughs* hes as sweet as angle he asks can i have a sip of your tea? ofcourse I say yes making sure he gets some.Hes my little cosin cute as he is he loves to run!We played manhunt and had some marshmelows on the fire he had an acident though when we were playing but he was good and then the next day i was off with my aunty playing board games and shoping shes realy nice shes like my nanny but not as nice as her.=p.
She was kind I folowed her every were and we almost got into a car acident!!!WE were lucky...we were realy close to an acident to the car. oh this piture is sooo cute look at it

could any thing get worse?

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 16:55:00 GMT

Here I am again stuck in the heat and now in a fight with my cosin and my brother She acts as if shes my mom and he acts as if hes my dad which their not they shold act as them self for now on not as my perants and today is their aneversary.I'm not amazed that jolie and chris are yelling at me again and now ive sunk even deeper into the tar which I started in could any thing get worse?

she stands a lone but yet she dosent...

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 19:49:58 GMT

Life is like a cadle their light when its lit and then theirs darkness on the hate and sadness and which part is she in is she in a dark swampy plase were your feet are stuck!Or a place were all your loved ones are having a picnic enjoying them selfs!Well this girl is in the darkness shes in a hall way alone with no light but people walk by her and dont look even at her they dont smile they dont blink they dont even say helo or whos that they walk away and around her she asks everyone that walks by her standing post help?help me please?But yet not even they know shes here she may stand alone and afraid and mabe even hurt but she never gives up but that girl is about to shes stuck in a tar that even her dad cant get through but she knows if she tries hard anough she will though she already knows again that she has no one helping her or guiding her to the candle that is not lit she stands alone as ever one laughs giggles and even throws stuff at her but he helps her and never gives up hes going but still trying hurting but still tryin how come she cant be like him how come thw world has to be so tuff the tar so hard and so mad and how does she know she'l make if through the hardest and mostb solid tar of all she stands alone but yet she doesnt...-

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 22:43:17 GMT

I feel invisible he walks by me every locker breck but walks by and doesnt notice me he doesnt even look hes in only a fue of my classes I like him but i wont tell a soul not after what happend to one of my best friends.And then theirs this other girl he likes but not me he like someone else how ovious..it feels like im not even their I drop my books no one notices me i fall no one helps me up.But I know that I'm amy I must stay stronger then anyone to survive the harsh world,
Like any ordanry girl does she has a crush but what if her likes someone else do I just whatch him go away or bring more atention to my self and me personly i dont like atention its irrating i dont want to be that girl who stands out i want to be me.But that girl he likes is their in the center of the world with a spotlight shinniong bright at her and me in a low dark corner were only the ones who care for you notice your shadow and then walk away when they see your face then they think who's that girl were she from eww look at her clothes ya who cares about that girl shes only a girl in a coroner with no friends but i have friends that stand theit for me when i feel low and sad! W,C,J those are their letters of their first name but i want to say their always happy and normal I want to be like them as normal as it could be happy sad and even mad! but im just someones shadow that they forgot about and theirs the girl who owns it in the spot light i wont give up cause soon or latter she will fall lower then she can amagine.I wish the best for her/or him but i'll soon stand up! As strong as ever and soon they will relise im not a normal shadow im a preble im amy..

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 16:39:05 GMT

I wish..

Sat, 02 Sep 2006 14:44:49 GMT

people dont relise how lucky they are... but the ones that do are angles the one that dont are no one, I wish we could all know if we were lucky or not I wish that the world was filled with kindness..I wish and i wish

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 18:14:33 GMT

Fri, 25 Aug 2006 18:34:11 GMT

I feel aful he broke up with her first I hated her and now I feel like a jerk she doesnt deserve to be hurt not even a scratch...She crys on the phone for him but he doesnt awnser...she misses him..And he only sees right through her as if she was invisebal..

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 14:55:22 GMT

Im sory this page is friends only...
If you wish to be my friend comment to me thank you all
bye bye but just telling you I love to write in my journal alot so dont be surprised to see me writen poem or more in this journal more then once a day.
Hope to your friends!

to my cosin..

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 14:43:00 GMT

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

im tierd..

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 14:36:57 GMT

I am tired
Tired of dreaming
tired of hoping
tired of waiting
when will I make a friend?

I wish I could help her...

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 14:05:27 GMT

Again the burden of losing rests upon my shoulders
And its weight seems unbearable
Your tomb is where your heart is,
And the worrie of my cosin is scaring me..

She reminded me of my scar,,

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 13:59:13 GMT

Why is it that some scars never heal, and they always bleed when your hurting the most?

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 13:53:35 GMT

so many people die of lung cancer is my dad going to be one of them? It feels as if shadow are crawling up to my dad and eating away at him and me and my family..he made us the people who we are...We would not be..prebles if it wasnt for him hes my dad no hes my hero...But this story mite not end of the bad guy winning just got to belive theirs a chanse for him! be strong..={ ill try not to cry I'll try.
And now were was I any how I'm writing with people on my roof fixing it up does that mean their gana be here for like a week!!!!I'd hate for that to happen to me!I have too many people in my house as it is im about to flip at my uncle fed up of seeing him my cosin jolie dosent care if I say this so ill say what I want!Any what was I saing oh yeagh he's always their hes like stocking my family!every were my dad is her has to be their!!I'm about to flip out mad qwick if he wont stop coming to my house at like 8:00am in the mornin to like 11:00 at night!It gets on my nerves he wont let me and my mum spend time with my dad!!!

Sun, 20 Aug 2006 16:45:47 GMT

I'm here writing dont want to write much cause my neaighbor is reading this!!>=( its srta getting on my nerves so I wont write much at all!!

I love to describe things...in ways i never thought before..

Sat, 19 Aug 2006 15:10:24 GMT

The world was qwite once when only the sweet smell of the ocean and the ripple of the leaves crunch under your feet and the grass would move side to side left to right right to left to see what the new born babie was doing and the ocean waters crashing with anger at the rocks!And their was love made from the family which they shared intill the grass stoped moving and went to sleep the sun stoped staring down at us and the waters calmed down...and the sun set down for now the moon would gaze over the sucses that we made and the reck we made..

Sat, 19 Aug 2006 14:53:30 GMT

I wonder if he likes me...Hes nice and smart.I dont care much about cute boys they only care about them selfs and not much about the envierment and poeple that are in risk....I mite never be able to see my crush ever again..Well who cares my cosins just going to bullie me to death cus i like someone..

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 14:58:33 GMT

"There are so many conclusions you can draw, and things that you won't know just by assuming. You can't be there, so you just have to have faith, even if you don't like the idea of it or understand it."If some one is unjurd,and hurt...dont give up..I have to be strong for my dad

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 20:17:24 GMT

You are the earth havent you notice you breath the air like trees leaves do...As lillypads open and close...but thats difrent..Then what I am trying to say..We all are alike and all are difrent...makes no sence?We are the same on the out side...We are humans thats all but in the inside is whats difrent...You can seek someone with love and happieness but there out side mite seem shallow...You can look for someone thats beutiful on the out side but by mistake are as evil in the inside...Watch which you choose I noticed it alot..My neighbor she may look kind but shes as vicous as a tiger that has spoted it's pray,Then theirs some that are pure..Nice...but may not be that perfuct with a spot on his/her cheak and look beutiful and are the same in the inside and then their are some that look like a moddle but then atidtude stricks be care full life is a path with lights and darknes the darkness is the hatred...And the light is pure love...We all have a path..But choose wizley the darkness could have light at the end of the ruff bumpy trail.. and that light rember it soon has to go out...You have to rember to be strong on the darkside and cosious on the light side dont judge how it looks like the same on a book but most importanty on you and the people around you...

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 19:59:27 GMT

I can not belive it I just went fishing for my first time and cought atleast twenty or twenty five fishes...Their babby blues but I let them go after I cought them...I was laughing my head of because my cosin Julie she knew how to fish since she was 9...And I'm better then her and I just got tought how to fish today...But she'l get better after some practice..
I hate her brother though his names david..I hate him he always making the mickey out of me..I wish my mum knew about what hes doing...He's not even close to being a good person cursing every time he gets...I wish someone would stop him like rinse his mouth out with soap...Sadly I'm the one saying this... but any how I'm sitting here again telling you all this...And I'm sorta glad i almost hooked him with the hook..He sorta deserves the punishment...sadly to say m9ore stuff about letting him get hurt but why should hen think that Just because I'm a girl that I cant make the same amount of money as a man does or Do stuff like men do...Like fishing or fighting.. why do men think that?....
well Its a hot day and I got sunburn Thats soon going to turn into a tan luckly..
I miss england so nice their....
owch! my feet hurt from walking so much and standing so much when im fishing my wishes of goodness is with all of you..

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 22:53:20 GMT

I need to find my happy place...
me,and my brother Christopher were at another fist fight...Exsept their's no end to it....I have to learn not to fight I Am fed Up of him and my perants not beliving me! why wont they understand...Well atleast I get to talk to my cosin thats went threw much more then i could amagaine...The days are ruff I guess...Nothings going right for me but i must not give up!I want to grow up to be a regular person...No medical issues..A job that i can pay rent and food And soon buy a house..And help the animal shelter...But i dout thats ever going to happen I have to much on my mind all ready...Luckly I can realse my anger,joy,and much more through this journal if only I had more friends to talk to in this world...My life is coming to a end fast too many fights...And too many More fights that will happen...I wonder as i type if any one has gone threw the same things...
my mind is tied tightly...threw life..I'm tierd of living..